29. June 2008

AWK #1 : Life After the Wedding

I love this topic because I can relate to some of the anwers that Aggies posted. The question is:

What are the things you want them to know about life after the wedding?

Like her, our first year of marriage is a bumpy ride. There are times that I feel regret that I married my husband. It didn’t help that I became pregnant just 2 months after the wedding day. My hormones were crazy and we were always arguing. We were from two entirely different families and our way of doing things were really opposite poles so it took hard work to adjust to each other.

Good thing that we agreed to solve our own problems so there weren’t many people involved, just the two of us. Looking back, i realize that most of our problems and issues then were brought about by false expectations about what married life is all about. I’m sharing some of my realizations below:

1. It requires adjustment.
The marriage relationship requires adjustments. You both entered into it with at least some expectations and ideals that were not very practical and realistic. When these are not met, some disappointment may come after the first few weeks. But, remember, you have made a big change in your life. You are no longer living alone or with a family that you have been with all your life. You are now with a new person, one you may be discovering that you don’t know as well as you thought you did. Your schedule is new, your work may be new, your budget is different, and there are new friends and in-laws to get used to. The success of your marriage and your happiness depend upon your willingness to adjust.

2. Learn to be Flexible.
Both should be mature and realize that neither one has the time or the energy to do all the things that were done before marriage. Now is the time to show flexibility and accept the deeply satisfying responsibility of making marriage work. One person can ruin a marriage, but it takes two to make it work. Making marriage work is an achievement. Achievement implies accomplishing something despite difficulties. When the two of you join in this endeavor, a part of each of you blends into this achievement. This joint effort with a mutual goal ties you together; it binds you close; it makes the two of you one. In time this creates a bond of love surpassing anything felt in anticipation of marriage, and in such unifying happiness it becomes a pleasure to adjust to each other’s differences.

3. Disagree without being disagreeable.

4. Learn to communicate in a loving way. Communication is the life blood of marriage. So never never never take it for granted.

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3 Comments

1. Aggie commented on June 30, 2008 at 6:49 am

3. Disagree without being disagreeable.

I love how you said this.
Requires no explanation at all.

Madami akong natutunan, grabe, thanks Nice!

2. Mich commented on July 04, 2008 at 1:12 pm

well said Nice! I agree with you, that marriage should be only about the two of you and not involving other people :)

Happy Friday!

3. Aggie commented on July 17, 2008 at 8:37 am

Thank you for sharing your insights to AWK: The Married Life. The recap is posted - I hope you read everyone’s entries!

The third installment of the Aggie Wants To Know Series is up! It’s intimidating at first but Im sure you’ll enjoy reading it once you are done! You can do your own thing too - I just want to know how the the first six months of 2008 went for you :) I hope you join!

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